The Long Dark of Soulful Heart Fox
by NebulaBelt
Summary: After coming back from No Heart's castle, Soulful reads the journal he found...and doesn't like what he finds.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is somewhat darker than the other fics I've written so far. I'm probably exaggerating the rating a bit, but better safe than sorry. It's rated for dark topics, and one scary scene. Soulful Heart Fox and the plot are © to me and all other characters are © to whoever it is that owns the Care Bears: Nelvana, DiC (i.e., not me). This is the first part in a series.

**The Long Dark of Soulful Heart Fox**

The sun rose. Soulful Heart Fox generally regarded this as a bad move and wished it would go away so he could get back to sleep. The sun never seemed to listen to the fox, which struck him as being horribly unfair. He knew life was unfair, but it still never ceased to annoy him that it was. Nothing to do for it, the fox got up and went through his morning rituals. He knew it wouldn't be long before…

"Hurry up Soulful Heart, we don't want to be late for the party!" Bright Heart Raccoon called through the door.

Soulful just grunted in lieu of answering verbally, which would've gone something along the lines of: _Speak for yourself_.

The cynically minded fox had been living with the Care Bears for over a decade and he was of the opinion that any excuse for a party in the Kingdom of Caring was a considered a good one. Something that, in his view, happened far too frequently: birthdays of individual family members, the birthday of the family as a whole, the birthday of Care-a-Lot, parties after various celebrations, races, parades, etcetera; as well as Earth holidays, like New Years, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and so on. It seemed like scarcely a fortnight went by without some celebration.

Soulful, never much of a party animal, usually tried to avoid them when he could, or at least limit his appearances there when he couldn't. This time however, there was no avoiding this particular party. After all, without him they never would've held it in the first place.

_Me and my big mouth._

He sighed. No matter how reluctant he was to go, there was no reason to take it out on Bright Heart, who _did_ want to, by unnecessarily delaying him. Adjusting his costume, Soulful Heart strolled out of his home. Bright Heart was waiting for him outside, already garbed in his own costume.

"How do I look?" He asked. Soulful Heart crossed his arms and raised one brow in critical assessment.

"Like you just stepped off a _kibbutz_." Bright Heart just smiled.

"Then the illusion is complete." Soulful rolled his eyes and prepared to say something in response, but was cut off by the sudden appearance of a certain blue bunny they were both familiar with.

"You two are late." Swift Heart Rabbit pronounced importantly, already in her costume too.

"Late? For a very important date?" Soulful queried. Swift Heart just stuck out her tongue at him.

"Very funny, fox boy. By the way, what're you going as again? A desert fox?"

"Me a fennec? Hardly. If I were a fennec fox, my ears would be as tall as yours and as wide as Lotsa Heart's." Swift Heart giggled at the mental image.

"We could used you as a kite!" Soulful stuck out his chin, the very image of noble dignity.

"I will not dignify that remark with a response." Bright Heart cleared his throat.

"Now we're _all_ going to be late. You two can banter later."

"Swift Heart Rabbit is never late!" She declared imperiously.

"Except when it comes to picking out a costume." Soulful needled her gently. "How long again did it take you to decide on the Baluba?"

"I had a lot of Caring Missions to choose from." She said, crossing her arms in a mock-pout. "Unlike _some_ of us." Soulful Heart chose to ignore her.

Shaking his head in resignation, Bright Heart strolled on ahead, Soulful Heart following behind him. Swift Heart walked with them too.

Soulful let his thoughts wander a bit as he walked, something he was prone to doing, as he thought of just how this celebration came into being.

About three weeks ago, Tenderheart announced that he was going to writing up dossiers on past Caring Missions and use that information to help make sure future missions go as well or better. Soulful's only thought on the subject was: _Better him than me._ Perhaps it was karma or perhaps Tenderheart saw what Soulful was thinking, whatever the reason, Soulful found himself helping Tenderheart file the reports.

While he was writing them up, he found something that to him was mildly interesting but to Tenderheart was nothing short of stupendous: The Care Bear Family had assisted people in every country and region in the world. He was so excited that he told everyone and made preparations for this party, to celebrate just how far the Care Bears have worked their magic and as a way for everyone to share their experiences and what they've learned.

As part of the celebration, Tenderheart proposed that everyone prepare the food, drink, music, and ethnic garb of the people from one of their favorite Caring Missions. Tenderheart chose the garb of the Kikuyu people of Kenya, in honor of one of his Caring Missions.

Everyone loved the idea and spent the next few weeks going over their best Caring Missions in their minds, picking out the cultures and ethnicities they decided to represent. Bright Heart chose the outfit of a _kibbutznik_ after a Caring Mission to Israel. Soulful Heart, recalling one Caring Mission that brought him to Yemen, decided to wear the traditional Arab headdress, the _keffiyeh_. Others had chosen cultures that ranged the full spectrum of humanity: Brave Heart chose Scottish culture while Cozy Heart chose the Inuit. For Lotsa Heart it was the Hindi while Goodluck picked the Irish. Harmony Bear selected the Saharawi, Love-a-Lot the Achenese, and so on.

By the time they reached the Hall of Hearts most of the others had already arrived. Soulful Heart was impressed with the decorations of the Hall of Hearts. From the walls and ceilings hung hundreds of flags from every country in the world, as well as the flags of provinces, regions, and ethnicities, nationalities, tribes, aspirant peoples, in addition to several other entities less easily defined.

Soulful adjusted his _keffiyeh_ and headed in. It never ceased to marvel him at just how the Care Bears managed to accomplish their task all over the world. One of their lesser-known abilities—which Soulful didn't discover until after his arrival—was that all Care Bears and Cousins (including him) had the gift of tongues, the gift of _languages_.

Whoever spoke with the Care Bears heard them speak in their language or dialect of their choice. A Russian listening to a Care Bear would hear them speak in Russian, a Frenchman would hear French, a Chilean would hear Spanish, etcetera. A Care Bear could hold a conversation with two people with two different languages at the same time, yet both would be able to claim that they were spoken to in their native tongue. Even the accent is so attuned to the individual the Care Bears were helping would swear they spoke like one who had grown up next door to them.

All Care Bears could hear and speak any form of verbal communication people could speak (Secret Bear had an affinity with various non-verbal methods). It was not something they learned or were even aware of until the need arose. Soulful once idly wondered whether the Care Bears actually spoke any one given language. For all they knew, they were all speaking Farsi and no one realized it because they instantly translated it. Or perhaps each one spoke a different language. Or perhaps an entirely unique language to the family…He promptly got a massive headache thinking about it and swore never to dwell on it again.

It was hard not to appreciate this gift though, given the breadth of their Caring mandate. Of course, there were other things to appreciate in the Hall of Hearts at this moment. A long, _long_ table containing foods from all over the world had been prepared. Soulful Heart suspected that the whole party was really just a pretext to have the food. _Come for the culture, stay for the food._

He spied several family members and decided to hold off on the food long enough to see just how they were dressed. In one corner were Noble Heart and True Heart, dressed as a Sioux chief and an ancient Egyptian princess respectively. Talking to them was Cheer Bear dressed in Kazakh clothing and Champ Bear dressed as a Bavarian, _liderhosen_ and all. It was all Soulful could do not to snicker. He also saw Playful Heart speaking to Funshine Bear, showing her the Greek food he brought and she was showing him the masks made by the Kayapo of the Amazon. Secret Bear, in traditional Kurdish garb, was whispering something to Friend Bear, currently wearing Ethiopian clothing, who was nodding appreciatively. Love-a-Lot was admiring Tenderheart's _kikembe_ while Swift Heart was being offered a _knish_ by Grumpy.

"Soulful! Glad you could make it!" The fox turned around in time to see Proud Heart Cat looking extremely pleased with herself—as usual—as she walked over in a beautiful kimono, befitting her mission to Japan. Loyal Heart, dressed as if he just came off guard duty from Buckingham Palace, accompanied her.

"Proud Heart. Loyal Heart." He nodded to each of them. Proud Heart laid her paw on Loyal Heart's shoulder.

"I should thank you. If it weren't for you Loyal Heart wouldn't have worn this lovely uniform," She purred absentmindedly knocking Loyal Heart's oversized guard hat down over his eyes.

"It was nothing. Really." Soulful protested. He wasn't being modest. One of the things the Care Bears had to muddle through on their own was learning what was or was not appropriate to each culture they encountered and helped. Soulful Heart was originally not assigned to Yemen, but to England. Loyal Heart went to Yemen. Neither met with any great success.

In the latter case, Loyal Heart couldn't really get the Yemeni children he was trying to help to open up to him. It was soon found out that among the Muslims (which nearly all Yemeni are) dogs are considered unclean in the way that pigs are shunned in the Jewish faith. In Soulful's case he was barely able to leave England with his hide intact and shortly afterwards wrote a strongly worded letter to Parliament urging a ban on fox hunting. It was at this point that Soulful Heart and Loyal Heart traded missions, with more positive results on both ends.

Soulful Heart excused himself from Proud Heart and Loyal Heart and started looking for Bright Heart. He found him next to the food table, pointing out a few choice dishes to Gentle Heart who came as an Armenian. Bright Heart idly brushed out a few imaginary wrinkles in his _kibbutznik_ getup. Soulful grinned as he made his way over.

There was another case of a Caring Mission that nearly became a fiasco. Originally, Bright Heart wasn't going to be sent to Israel. Treat Heart Pig was. But recalling the trouble Loyal Heart had, someone realized that sending a _pig_ to country that was almost entirely populated by Jews and Muslims—two peoples who both consider pigs unclean—might not be the best choice. So Bright Heart was sent to Israel and Treat Heart went to Belgium and promptly fell in love with the famous Belgian chocolates. In fact, she was at the party dressed in traditional clothing of Belgium's Flemish population.

"Hi Soulful!" Bright Heart said as Gentle Heart waved him over. "Care for some _falafel_?"

"Thanks." Soulful said as he popped a piece in his mouth. "How're you two doing?"

"Better than Brave Heart is." Gentle Heart said.

"Ah, I take it that his attempt to mix foods from different cultures together was less than successful?" Soulful inquired.

"I wouldn't recommend putting _wasabi_ on _latkes_, if that's what you mean." Bright Heart answered.

"Speaking of which, where is…ah Grumpy!" The fox called waving the bear over to their little group. Grumpy, dressed as if he'd just come from an eastern Europen _shtetl_—or a production of _Fiddler on the Roof_—approached them, a plate in his hands.

"_Latkes_? _Knishes_? _Blintzes_?"

"Thank you Grumpy." Gentle Heart said as she helped herself to a potato pancake.

"Practiced your _Hava_ _Nagila_?" Soulful asked with a smile. Grumpy groaned.

"Why do I have to be the one to dance?"

"Because I can't sing." Soulful answered judiciously. The others all winced. Soulful's speaking voice was nothing to brag about. But to hear him sing was even worse. Shrieky could hardly be worse. After his arrival, someone thought that speech lessons with Harmony Bear might curb the worst aspects of Soulful's rather unique, rasping and whiny voice.

Someone thought wrong.

His last speech session ended with an aborted attempt at singing that ended with Harmony's windows shattering and Soulful quitting singing for good.

To say the least, Soulful was seldom invited to karaoke night.

The conversation soon focused around Gentle Heart's visit to Armenia and Grumpy's visit to a burgeoning Jewish community in Eastern Europe. It was cut short however when the doors to the Hall of Hearts were flung open with a clatter and a shout came from the door.

"No Heart!"

Soulful promptly performed a spit take that would've gotten huge laughs had it occurred on screen. As it was, all he did was douse Grumpy.

"Gee, thanks a lot Soulful. I was feeling a bit thirsty." He said as he wrung his shirt out. Soulful wasn't listening. His attention was rapt on the doorway, where Bedtime and Birthday Bear were running inside, disheveled and looking scared.

"What is it?' Noble Heart asked them as he and True Heart made their way over.

"Share!" Bedtime exclaimed at the same moment Birthday shouted; "Wish!" And then together:

"No Heart kidnapped them!" A wave of murmuring broke out among the crowd.

"He's probably using them as bait for a trap." Noble Heart mused.

"We gotta rescue them!" Brave Heart asked. Tenderheart nodded as he thought of a plan.

"If the rest of you make a big enough distraction perhaps a few of us could sneak in and rescue Share and Wish." Tenderheart proposed. "I'll go."

"Me too!" Brave Heart agreed.

"One problem." Grumpy grumbled, even as Soulful shot him a questioning look that seemed to say: _One?_ "How are we gonna find them? It's an awfully big castle. And then there's actually the matter of sneaking inside in the first place." Soulful nodded.

Noble Heart sighed. "I know it won't be easy, if only we knew some way in…" Tenderheart looked at Soulful, who started looking uncomfortable.

"Do you know a way in?" He asked Soulful. The fox nodded glumly.

"I do. There's a secret entrance."

"Can you tell us where it is?" Tenderheart asked hopefully. Soulful sighed.

"You'll never find it on your own." The fox said unhappily, his ears and tail drooping to show just how unhappy he was. "I'll have to…" He swallowed nervously. "…Show you."

_Me and my big mouth_. Soulful thought for the second time that day as he, Tenderheart, Grumpy, and Brave Heart crept along the outside wall of No Heart's Castle. He felt his fur rise as lighting struck in the dark clouds that engulfed the castle, keeping their air thick with static electricity…to say nothing of tension.

"Where's this entrance?" Tenderheart asked Soulful as he prowled around the wall, apparently looking for something.

"I think it's right about…here!" Soulful said as he pushed on a brick in the wall. Nothing happened. "Or not." He sighed.

"Great." Grumpy moaned as he leaned against the wall. "We might as well turn back and—WHOA!" He fell flat on his back as the section of the wall he was leaning against swung open.

"You found it Grumpy! Good work!" Brave Heart complimented as he helped him up.

"Yeah, great." Grumpy muttered as he rubbed the back of his head. Tenderheart peered inside. There was a large spiraling stairwell that led up and up…he couldn't even see the top through the darkness that enveloped it.

"Looks like a long way to go." Tenderheart said. "Might as well get started." Pulling a search lamp (heart shaped of course) out of the satchel bag Soulful had brought, Tenderheart led the way in.

The rescue party began to climb the stairs. The steps were steeper than what they were used to, having been designed for someone of a larger stride, and there was a lot of them. Their pace began to slow and Grumpy began to pant in exhaustion.

"Oooh, you call this a shortcut, Soulful?"

"Unless you wanted to try to scale the walls by paw." Soulful answered, his face beaded with sweat that had nothing to do with physical exhaustion. "Don't distract me."

"Why? What're you doing?" Brave Heart asked. Holding onto his patience with both paws, Soulful answered.

"Counting the stairs."

"Uh, why?"

"So I'll know where the booby-traps are." Soulful said flatly.

"Oh….BOOBY-TRAPS!" All three of them shouted at once, nearly knocking Soulful down a couple of stairs in surprise.

"I thought I told you." He said. Brave Heart shook his head.

"You didn't. You could _try_ being a little more informative, Soulful."

"…I just don't like talking about this place, okay?" The fox said. "Look, the first booby-trap is a few minutes ahead of us. I'll go first and tell you guys what to do."

"And what if you make a mistake, like you did with the door?" Grumpy asked. Soulful looked like he wished Grumpy hadn't mentioned that.

"Then you'll still know how to avoid it." He said shortly as he took the lamp from Tenderheart and took the lead. Tenderheart looked worriedly at his retreating form, he was beginning to wonder if he did the right thing in bringing him here.

Too late to change things now, Tenderheart, Grumpy, and Brave Heart followed Soulful up the seemingly endless flight of stairs.

Soulful scowled in the darkness as he kept count, hoping he didn't miscount a step. Finally, when he reached the step he was waiting for he came to an abrupt halt.

"Now what?" Tenderheart asked.

"You see these next three stairs?" Soulful asked, pointing. The others nodded. "No, you don't." He corrected them. "They don't exist. They're just an illusion. We have to jump the gap."

"And if we miss and fall?" Grumpy asked, gulping. Soulful shrugged uneasily.

"Let's just say there's a reason why the saying exists that you can't jump an abyss in two leaps."

"I'll go first." Brave Heart said as he backed up, trying to give himself as much of a running start as he could. He took a deep breath and then, "CHAAARRGE!" He bellowed as he leaped, landing on a solid step. "Okay, your turn Tenderheart!"

"Wish me luck." Tenderheart said as he prepared for his own jump. He almost landed on Brave Heart's foot, but beyond that it was smooth. Soulful took a deep breath as he made his own leap. He landed a bit less steady than Brave Heart or Tenderheart, but he did have larger feet to absorb the landing shock.

Grumpy gulped once as he made his jump. One foot landed on solid ground, the other one dangled in the air. Grumpy flailed his arms to try to keep from falling backwards. Tenderheart and Soulful each managed to grab a paw and pull him forward just as he was about to fall backwards.

"Grumpy!" Tenderheart said. "Are you alright?"

Grumpy panted. "Oh…why do these things always happen to me?"

"He's fine." Soulful deadpanned.

"Funny fox…" Grumpy muttered without anger as Tenderheart helped him to his feet. "Thanks guys…Anymore surprises for us, Soulful?"

"He can tell us about those on the way up." Brave Heart said as he started bounding up the stairs again.

"Brave Heart, wait!" Soulful shouted.

"Huh?" Brave Heart asked, turning around. "What?"

"Duck!"

"What—Yikes!" Brave Heart exclaimed as he hugged the ground, only narrowly avoiding getting his head sheared off by a wickedly curved axe that was now embedded in the wall. "That was close!" Brave Heart said.

"Closer than you think." Soulful pointed. Brave Heart looked down and saw several strands of his mane had been sheared off. Brave Heart shuddered. Another few seconds…

"Thanks, Soulful." Brave Heart said. Soulful just shrugged uncomfortably, ill at ease with thanks, especially from someone he never got on well with.

"Let's keep going." Soulful mumbled, not meeting anyone's eyes as he trudged up the stairs, the others soon following suit. The next few minutes were traveled in silence, which was just as well, as far as Tenderheart was concerned.

The longer he watched Soulful, the more he worried about him. _I should never have brought him here._ Tenderheart thought. _Who knows what he's going through?_

Soulful had been born---created, really—here and had spent years as No Heart's slave. Even though he had been with the Care Bear Family for over ten years, Soulful almost never talked about his time here…not even with those he trusted most, like Bright Heart and Gentle Heart. Tenderheart wondered at the wisdom of forcing him to face his inner demons, especially at a time like this.

Soulful said something, but Tenderheart didn't hear it. He was lost in his own thoughts. Soulful raised his voice. "Tenderheart!" Tenderheart shook his head to clear his mind and turned to Soulful, who had his raised forearm in what looked like a rude gesture. Tenderheart was about to ask Soulful what he'd done to offend him when he noticed Brave Heart and Grumpy doing it too.

"Why are you—" His question was cut off as he saw something drop in front of his eyes. Before he could even realize that it was a rope, it had already secured itself around his neck and was pulling him up, his toes on barely brushing against the ground.

"**Tenderheart!**" He dimly heard the others shout, but he couldn't really hear anything beyond the blood pounding in his ears. His vision started swimming and just before he was about to loose consciousness he felt himself fall and land on the steps. Hard.

"Are you okay?"

"Speak to us!"

"Are you alright?"

Tenderheart just coughed as someone pulled the severed noose off of him. He tried speaking, but ending up coughing even worse and rubbed his throat. Someone laid a paw on his back. Tenderheart looked up and to his surprise, saw that it was Soulful.

"I know…that's not pleasant." Soulful rubbed his own throat, partly in sympathy, partly in remembrance. Tenderheart tried to say something but ended up coughing again. "Don't try speaking for a while." Soulful said. "I think you'll be okay…It could've been a lot worse." He didn't say anything more but Tenderheart saw in his eyes that Soulful _knew_ firsthand just how worse it could've been. "We're almost to the top." Soulful said at last. "Do you think you can make it?"

Tenderheart nodded, though he needed Brave Heart's help to stand up. That seemed to have been the last of the booby-traps as the remaining steps posed no further dangers or challenges. They finally reached the top and took a moment catch their breaths. Tenderheart rubbed his throat again. It was getting better but he knew that Take Care and Grams would be all over him when they got back to take it easy for a while.

But that was later. This was now.

"Which way?" Tenderheart asked Soulful, his voice still a dull croak. Soulful looked around and pointed.

"This way. And don't worry Tenderheart, that _will_ clear up." The four of them made their way through the deep, dark, and drafty corridors of the castle. Grumpy shivered.

"It's freezing in here!"

"It's even colder at night." Soulful said though he wasn't actually answering Grumpy. His eyes sort of unfocused and it looked like he was reliving the events of decades past. "Freezing nights that seem to last for weeks. No blankets, no bed, not even a room. Just me and the cold stone floor…"

He didn't realize he'd spoken any of that aloud until he turned his head and caught the expressions of the others. Soulful felt his face heat and he turned his head. "Come on." He mumbled, "We should be near No Heart's spell room."

The others hesitated, exchanged a short series of looks then followed him. They made their way through winding corridors and passages, occasionally ducking out of sight to avoid being detected by a shadow.

Soulful held up a paw, bringing the others in his train to a halt. "What is it?" Tenderheart asked.

"We're here. That's No Heart's spell room." Soulful pointed at a door.

"Well what're we waiting for? Brave Heart Lion to the rescuuue—HEY!" Brave Heart yelled as Soulful caught his tail in his paws and yanked him back away from the door. "What's the big idea Soulful?"

"Those are." Soulful pointed at something above the doorway. It looked like a chalked symbol that none of the others recognized. "That's a magical ward. It protects the door."

"What'll it do?" Tenderheart asked.

"I'm not sure. It might teleport you outside the castle, light you on fire, or turn you inside out." The others gulped.

"How do we beat it?" Grumpy asked.

"Maybe a Care Bear Stare?" Tenderheart suggested, looking at Soulful.

"I guess it's worth a try." He said.

"Care Bears, Countdown!" Brave Heart said, "Four…Three…"

"Oh just do it already!" Soulful snapped. "We can't leave soon enough to suit me."

"STARE!" Tenderheart said, forestalling any arguing. Four beams of light converged on the ward symbol and it soon vanished, taking its magical protection along with it.

Tenderheart gently pushed the door open. It opened slowly with a creak that was far too loud to suit him…but nothing happened. Brave Heart peered inside.

"Come on, the coast is clear!"

"Famous last words." Grumpy mumbled as he followed Brave Heart in. Tenderheart held back for a minute.

"Soulful, are you—" Soulful held up a paw.

"Let's just get them and go and I'll be fine." Tenderheart nodded reluctantly.

"Okay, let's go." They walked inside to find Grumpy and Brave Heart looking at a cage in the corner. Inside it was Wish Bear and Share Bear, still in their costumes from the party_. It seemed like days ago_…Soulful mused to himself as he rested his hand against a desk. His eye drifted over its contents, some parchments, inkwells, and…_a book?_ Soulful felt strangely drawn to it. He picked it up. It looked like some sort of journal or entry book. He pocketed it in the satchel for later before turning back to the others, who were trying to wake the girls.

"Wish! Share!" Tenderheart called. "Are you two okay?" No answer.

Hurrying up to the bars Tenderheart saw that they were both unconscious. _At least that's all it is._ He sighed in relief.

"We've got to get them out of that cage!" Brave Heart said as he pulled on the bars. "But how?"

"How about this?" Grumpy asked as he used his tummy symbol to create a key.

"Grumpy, you're a genius!" Tenderheart said as Grumpy opened the door.

"Well why doesn't anyone ever notice more often?" He grumbled.

"Wish? Share?" Brave Heart asked, shaking Wish. "This isn't the time to take a nap!" They still didn't stir.

"It must be a spell…" Tenderheart guessed. "Soulful, do you still have those smelling salts?" Soulful rummaged through the satchel he brought. Take Care insisted they come fully stocked with First Aid gear. He handed Tenderheart a smelling salt and he took another for himself. Tenderheart waved his under Wish Bear's nose as Soulful did the same for Share.

Their eyes flickered open. "Wha--?" Share asked as she woke up to find herself practically eyeball to eyeball with Soulful.

"Tenderheart?" Wish asked as Tenderheart helped her to her feet and escorted her out of the cage.

"Don't worry, we're here to get you both home."

"Glad to see you're both okay." Brave Heart said as Wish gave him a hug. That started a brief lived exchange of hugs and well wishes…at least until Share tried to give Soulful a hug. Without thinking the fox simply took half a step backwards and drew away from her, flinching.

Share looked hurt and it wasn't long before the others noticed the awkward moment.

"Come on," Tenderheart said gently, rubbing Share's shoulder. "We should go before No Heart comes back." He caught Soulful's eye as he passed him. The fox looked sorry that he hurt Share, but even after so long with the Care Bear Family, he still wasn't that outgoing. He sometimes was in private with one or two of his closest friends, but not like that. Not here. Not in No Heart's Castle.

_I'm with you, not of you._ Soulful's mournful eyes seemed to telling Tenderheart. Tenderheart didn't buy that for a minute, but now really wasn't the time.

"Let's go." Grumpy urged as they made their way out. "The other's can't be a distraction forever and I don't want to be here when—"

A sudden crack of lightning heralded the arrival of the wizard whose company they'd hoped to avoid.

"NO HEART!" They shouted in unison.

"You miserable Care Bears won't escape me so easily!" With another crack of lightning No Heart transformed himself into an enormous jackal.

"Run for it!" Tenderheart yelled as they ran in the other direction. "Don't split up!" He added, he didn't intend for this to be a repeat of when No Heart trapped them in a maze.

Soulful hadn't joined the family when that had happened, but he seemed to understand perfectly. "The hallways here are like a maze. Unless you want to end up running around in circles until he wears us down, follow me!"

The five other Care Bears followed Soulful as led them through a twisting path that led them down corridor after corridor after corridor. No Heart couldn't move nimbly enough to avoid the walls, the pillars, and the various odds and ends; suits of armor, statues, and shadows. It slowed him down, but he was still right behind them, his hot breathe right on their necks.

Tenderheart thought that Soulful had forgotten where he was going. That he had no purpose in mind beyond running. Just when he was about to ask him what he had in mind, it revealed itself to him. At the end of the hall was a crack in the wall. It wasn't large, but it was big enough for a Care Bear to slip through.

_If only we can reach it in time._ Tenderheart thought. "Hurry!" He yelled. No Heart hadn't given up and had only begun driving himself harder when he saw what the Care Bears were planning.

"You wont get away from me!" He bellowed. Soulful ducked his head and fairly slid into the crack.

"Come on!" He shouted. Wish Bear was the next one to squeeze through then Share, then Grumpy, then Brave Heart. Someone called to Tenderheart:

"Hurry up Tenderheart, he's gaining!"

Tenderheart huffed and puffed as he ran for the crack, he was _so close_…

Just as he thought he was in the clear, No Heart raised a massive paw and swiped at him. Tenderheart leapt to avoid it, but in the process tripped and skidded on his belly before coming to a halt.

"Now I have you!" No Heart gloated as he pounced. Tenderheart saw the jackal No Heart take up a larger and larger field of vision before he felt a pair of paws on his shoulders, dragging him into the crack bare seconds before No Heart landed where he just was.

Tenderheart panted in exhaustion and terror. "Thanks…" He looked up to his rescuer. Soulful just looked uncomfortable, as he always did with praise.

"We should go before he calms down enough to transform and follow us."

"Where _do_ we go?" Grumpy asked. "There aren't any stairs!" Tenderheart looked and saw Grumpy was right. They were all standing on a small protrusion that jutted out into darkness. Below them was a deep pit. Tenderheart guessed they were inside one of the many towers of the castle.

"There's a way down…but you're not going to like it." Soulful said as he pointed at the wall. Tenderheart followed his finger. Sure enough there was a slender ledge that stretched from the platform they were on around the wall and spiraling down and around in a gentle slope, presumably until they reached the bottom of the castle.

But was a _very_ narrow ledge. It wasn't even wide enough to walk down. They'd have to walk crab fashion, with their backs to the wall.

"What happens if we fall?" Wish Bear asked Soulful. Instead of answering her directly, Soulful just picked up a loose rock and dropped it. The others leaned over waiting to hear it impact on the bottom.

They never heard a thing.

Grumpy gulped. "Are you sure about this Soulful?" Brave Heart asked him.

"This isn't my first choice either." Soulful said bitterly, his nerves fraying. "But I just want to go home. If anyone else feels the same way, follow me." With that, Soulful flattened himself against the wall and started walking sideways down the ledge. Tenderheart followed him and soon all six of them were making their way down the spiral ledge. About five minutes later, Tenderheart saw something go whishing past but it was gone again before he could be sure what it was.

"What was that?" He asked.

"It was that rock." Soulful answered grimly.

"But, how?"

"A spell." Soulful said with a faint undertone of…_was that fear?_ Tenderheart wondered. "No Heart cast a spell in this place. If something falls down it just keeps falling. A spell teleports it just before it his the bottom back to the top again. There's no loss of speed, there's no loss of momentum…there isn't even any time lag. It's just like falling forever…" Soulful gulped and looked ill.

"Did No Heart…?" Tenderheart asked softly too low to be heard by anyone else but him and Soulful. The fox just nodded,

"I-If I forgot an ingredient," Soulful whimpered. "If I d-dropped something h-he would, he would…" He gulped again, trying not to throw up.

_So that's why he's always had a sensitive stomach, oh Soulful…why didn't you ever _tell_ us?_

Soulful's face turned pale, then green, then a sort of weird purplish color…it looked like he was having a stroke or a panic attack…or both. His foot missed the ledge and he nearly tottered over. Tenderheart quickly held out one arm and shoved Soulful back against the wall, nearly knocking the wind out of him.

"Thanks." Soulful wheezed.

"I'm so sorry." Tenderheart said, aghast. "I shouldn't have brought you back here…I shouldn't have…" He trailed off. Soulful was beyond listening.

"I just want to go _home_! I want to go home and never come back here again! NEVER!"

"And you wont." Tenderheart said. "You'll never have to see this place again. I promise." He wasn't sure Soulful was listening or if he even heard him. He just started half-mumbling and half-singing:

"Down once more to the dungeon of my black despair….Down we plunge to the prison of my mind…Down that path into darkness deep as _Hell_!

"Soulful…" Tenderheart asked, concerned.

"…Let's just hurry up. The sooner we reach the bottom, the sooner I can go home and crawl into bed."

"Sounds like a plan to me." Tenderheart agreed. The group continued making their way down, ignoring the rock that continually fell past them only to reappear and fall past them again and again.

After what felt like hours of walking against the wall, they finally reached the bottom and promptly collapsed. They were weary, they were stiff, and they were starving. The first thing Soulful did before sitting down was to look up at the rock as it once again fell towards the bottom. Using his tummy symbol, he knocked the rock against the wall, where it ricocheted and landed on the floor. Satisfied that nothing would have to fall forever, Soulful Heart too, collapsed.

"Now what?" Grumpy asked.

"Now…" Soulful said. "We walk out down that tunnel and we're out. Then we call some cloud cars…"

"And get the heck outta Dodge!" Brave Heart finished.

"What tunnel? You mean the one coated in spider webs?" Wish asked. Soulful turned rigid.

"Did you say…spider webs?" His voice trembled. Wish nodded and pointed. Sure enough the only way out was through an arch that was almost completely covered with thick spider webs.

Soulful turned white as a ghost and cursed. He cursed again, and again. He swore magnificently in several languages mixed to a truly blistering effect. Tenderheart felt himself blush and knew he wasn't the only one. It was a wonder the walls didn't start to peel!

Soulful eventually wound down and finished by kicking a rock across the room. "Darn…" He said, too exhausted to come up with anything fouler.

"What's wrong?" Brave Heart asked. Tenderheart knew though. Soulful hated spiders. Regal had the same problem, but Soulful—if anything—seemed worse.

"Don't worry Soulful." Tenderheart said, putting a comforting arm around his shoulder. "We'll be there for you. There's nothing to worry about."

Soulful shook his head. "You don't understand. These aren't normal spiders. No Heart made them. They're _huge_. They're main bodies are as big as _us_." Tenderheart swallowed. So did the others. "They're venomous too. Their poison causes…" He lowered his voice. "…Nightmares. Permanent nightmares." The way he spoke didn't sound like he got this information second-hand.

Tenderheart felt his own face pale…_That would explain Soulful's arachnophobia…and his nightmares._ He didn't think Soulful knew that he was aware of the nightmares Soulful had. Soulful never had any pleasant dreams. Not ever. And now Tenderheart knew why…_No Heart, you have a lot to answer for._ He thought angrily before pushing that anger aside. There'd be a time for anger later. For now…there was Soulful.

"Soulful, we're here for you." Tenderheart assured him. "We'll help you see this through. We're all going to get out of here and go home. Together."

Soulful gave Tenderheart's paw a squeeze in thanks before they walked over to the group.

"All right everybody." Brave Heart said. "Listen up. We've been through booby-traps, wards, spells, shadows, No Heart, and near-bottomless pits. Are we gonna let a bunch of _bugs_ stop us when we're so close to gettin' out?"

"No!" "Nu-uh" "No way!" "Not a chance!"

"Here's what we're going to do." Tenderheart said. "We're going to make for the exit and stop for nothing, no one gets left behind. Everyone, prepare your tummy symbols."

The darkness in the castle started to retreat as five tummy symbols lit up. Soulful couldn't manage it. Tenderheart wasn't surprised, nor could he blame him. He'd always wondered why Soulful always acted so differently. No more. Now he'd wonder how Soulful managed to be as normal as he was!

Tenderheart got them in to a formation where Brave Heart was at the front…and Soulful was safely enveloped in the center.

"Let's go." Tenderheart said. Brave Heart let out his trademark roar and shouted.

"CHAARRRGE!" With that, they were off. They ran through the spider web screen that covered the tunnel's entrance. Tenderheart wiped his face free of webbing only to find his paw covered with tiny spiders. He shook them off as best he could as he ran. The others were having the same problem. Brave Heart's mane was practically alive in the little creatures.

If that had been their only problem, they could've counted themselves lucky.

Too bad it wasn't.

Brave Heart nearly plowed head onto a spider as big as he was that was crawling in the middle of the tunnel, blocking their path. The arachnid reared on its hind legs and let out a dreadful hiss.

"Tenderheart…we're not alone anymore." Grumpy said nervously as he pointed. Within what felt like seconds, other large spiders joined the first and began to surround the knot of Care Bears.

"STARE!" Tenderheart yelled, dispensing with the countdown entirely. Five Stares leapt out in the near darkness, pushing several spiders back. But not all of them.

One of them raised a hairy leg and swung, knocking the Care Bears down like so many bowling pins. Soulful sat up, holding his head only to find himself eye to eye, or rather, eye to _eyes_ with one of the spiders. He paled looking a split-hair away from keeling over on the spot.

_I really wish I had stayed in bed_. Soulful thought as he braced himself for death. _And to think, today started out as such a nice day…_

He threw up his hands in a last ditch effort to avoid being eviscerated, when a Stares impacted against spider, forcing it to withdraw. He looked to see who his rescuer was: it was Share Bear.

"You okay?" She asked him, concerned as she helped him up. Soulful nodded numbly. "Good. Let's go!"

The group tore through the hallway, correctly believing their lives to be on the line. Their Stares knocked aside every spider that was unfortunate enough to be in their way. Finally they reached the end of the tunnel…only to find it blocked!

"What now?" Tenderheart asked the shaken fox.

"I-I don't know…No Heart must've sealed it!"

"Great a dead-end." Brave Heart said bitterly.

"Did you _have_ to call it that?" Grumpy moaned. The six of them exchanged looks and turned around. The spiders were still coming…and there was no way out.

_We can't hold them off forever…_Tenderheart realized sadly. He shook his head. He couldn't believe it. _All that time and trouble…and we're stopped by something as simple as a wall, when we're so close to freedom?_

A sudden rumbling derailed Tenderheart's train of thought. He turned around to see the blocked entrance crumbling, beams of light coming through the cracks.

"Move, everyone!" He yelled as he figured it out. The others scurried aside just as the stones that had blocked their way blew in. Light poured into the hole, but it wasn't ordinary daylight…

"STARE!" Came the call from over a dozen throats as beams of light entered the tunnel, pushing the spiders back long enough for Tenderheart and the others to get outside. Waiting for them was the rest of the family.

"You're all right!" True Heart said in relief as the others used their tummy symbols to block up the tunnel entrance again.

"Well, I don't have anything a shower wouldn't fix." Tenderheart said, picking spider webs out of his fur.

"Let me help you all with that." Noble Heart said as his tummy symbol glowed. Within moments, the webs and dust that had coated Tenderheart were gone, the same for the others.

"Thanks." Tenderheart smiled. "I needed that." Anything else that might have been said was drowned out in the general chorus of cheers and applause when everyone saw the kidnapped girls were safe and unharmed. Bedtime and Birthday Bear were especially vocal in voicing their relief that Share and Wish, respectively, were back and safe.

"Wish!" "Share!" "You're both alright!" "I was so worried!"

Soulful Heart drew himself away from the group. He just wanted to go home and forget this day ever happened. He felt a paw on his shoulder and turned around. It was Share.

"Thank you…for everything." She said. "Wish and I really appreciate what you went through for us." _And so does Birthday and Bedtime._ He read in her eyes, not that he'd embarrass her by saying it.

"Welcome." He mumbled awkwardly. Share gave him a brief smile before returning to Bedtime and the others.

"Come on everyone, let's go." Noble Heart ordered. "No Heart knows he can't take us all on, but I'd rather not stay here and tempt him." Those words were just the right ones to get everyone to head for the cloud cars and return home.

Soulful—never having successfully learned to drive—had to have Tenderheart drop him off outside his home.

"Thanks." He said as he started heading for the door, intending to sleep for a week.

"Soulful…" Tenderheart called, causing the fox to turn around.

"It's…okay, Tenderheart. I'll be fine."

"It was a brave thing, what you did today." Tenderheart said. Soulful looked decidedly uncomfortable at the praise. "Take the next few days off. You've earned them."

Soulful nodded. "Thank you." Tenderheart just nodded.

"Anytime." With that, Tenderheart drove away and Soulful headed inside his home. As soon as he got in, he locked the door behind him, as if he could shut away all the bad memories today had brought back just as easily. _If only it were that easy._ He thought as he stumbled into his room. Barely remembering to drop the satchel he had forgotten he still had—and making a mental note to return it to Take Care later—he plopped face down on his bed and was sleep within seconds.

Soulful Heart awoke some time later, feeling somewhat refreshed. Yawning and stretching, he got up to find something to eat. He hadn't had a thing since the party that morning. _Was it this morning?_ He asked himself, glancing outside. It was already getting dark when they returned from No Heart's Castle. Now it was pitched black out.

As he headed to the kitchen he nearly tripped over the satchel he brought with him, spilling some of contents. Soulful reached down and picked up the book he found in No Heart's spell room. Now, as then, he felt strangely compelled to read it.

Deciding he could hold off on eating for a bit, Soulful went back to his room and sat down on his bed, opening the book. As he had surmised when he found it, it was indeed a journal of sorts. Soulful flipped through it, resolving to read it more in depth later. It was written in No Heart's own handwriting, describing his plans and some of the more complicated spells he'd attempted…Soulful felt his heart race as he found a section devoted to the spell that created him.

Soulful read like a fox possessed. He fairly tore through the book, hoping to find some knowledge, some information about his background, his origins…trying to discover just what he truly was. An hour later Soulful had his answer. That was the reason why he found himself huddled in the corner of his room, his knees drawn up under his chin as he cried; his spirit bruised, perhaps broken. Perhaps forever.

END OF PART ONE


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Story contains a rather…disturbing comment. You'll know it when you see it. Soulful Heart Fox and the plot are © to me and all other characters are © to whoever it is that owns the Care Bears: Nelvana, DiC (i.e., not me). This is the first part in a series.

**The Longest Night**

Regal Heart Lioness purred contently into her pillow. She was something of a deep sleeper and it wasn't easy to wake her, especially when she didn't want to be. Regal wasn't a morning person either, especially when "morning" in this case meant 2:41 AM. So it took a rather extraordinary effort to be pulled away from her slumbering. In this case, that meant being rather roughly shaken awake.

"Hey!" Regal said, knocking away the paws that had grabbed her by the shoulders. She sat up, not sure whether or not she was under attack. Beside her, Stellar Heart Tiger shifted and stirred, but did not awake. Regal was about to wake him when her eyes started to adapt to the low light and she recognized her "assailant."

"Soulful Heart Fox what is the matter with you!" Regal said in a whispered hiss, not wanting to wake Stellar and silently wondering why she ever thought give Soulful a house key. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"I-I need to talk to you." He said in a stammering croak, like he'd just been crying. "It can't wait." Regal sat up a bit straighter and felt her mind unfog a bit. The events of the past day came rushing back to her. The kidnapping, the rescue…Brave Heart and Tenderheart telling her what they'd found out about Soulful's life under No Heart, a subject he hadn't truly discussed in ten years.

"Alright." Regal said, rubbing her eyes as she swung her legs out of bed. "Let's go down to the kitchen and—"

Soulful shook his head. "No. You have to come with me." Not waiting for her, Soulful turned around and waited outside her bedroom door. Regal didn't think she should argue with him. If he needed her to follow him…Regal smoothed out her nightshirt and followed Soulful. She hoped she'd be back before Stellar woke up. She didn't want him to worry, but it looked like this couldn't wait.

They headed for the door in silence. Apparently Soulful didn't intend to give her any hint as to what was bothering him before they got to wherever it was he was taking her. _Oh my foxy friend…what's gotten you so rattled now?_

Regal poked her head outside. It was raining, a veritable downpour. She had heard as much when she got up but didn't have time to dwell on it. Soulful, already wet, was not bothered by the rain and headed out without so much as an umbrella or a look back to see if Regal was coming. _He knows me well enough to know I won't just stay behind._ Regal reasoned with a sigh as she grabbed an umbrella by the door and followed him into the rain.

She shivered. It was cold…it was wet…it was windy. _What I wouldn't give to be back in bed…_Regal winced as one of her feet sunk into a moist cloud. It was like stepping into a wet sponge. _Part and parcel of living in a place made of clouds._

It soon became apparent that Soulful was leading Regal towards his own house. By the time they got there the hem of Regal's nightshirt was pretty well soaked, and Soulful looked like he just had a near drowning experience.

"Would you mind telling me why you wanted me to come?" Regal asked, wringing out her nightshirt. Soulful, his ears drooped in a clear sign of depression, retreated into his room and came back a moment later, something grasped in his paws. _A book?_

"What is it?" She asked. Soulful opened his mouth only to close it a second later and shake his head. Clearly he couldn't talk about it. He just pushed the book into her paws and waited expectantly. Regal shivered when she held the book. She didn't know how, but she _knew_ where it was from. "This is from No Heart's castle, isn't it?" Soulful nodded.

Regal opened the book and saw the dated entries. "This is No Heart's journal?" She asked breathlessly. Soulful just shivered. Maybe it was from being wet and cold or maybe it was from fear. It may have been both. When he sneezed though, Regal made up her mind. "Soulful, go warm up before you get sick. Take a hot shower." She held up a paw to forestall any argument. "I wont go anywhere."

To her surprise, and worry, Soulful didn't argue. He nodded once but took the book from her and opened it to a certain page. He gave it back to her, his meaning clear as he headed for his bathroom.

After he was gone Regal took a seat on his couch and began to read. It was written by No Heart's own hand in a flourishing old-fashioned style that she did not expect.

He wrote:

_At long last I have devised a way to rid myself of the primary guardians of love and caring in the world: The Care Bear Family. For too long I've been content to either ignore them or attempt to deal with them piecemeal, such as the removal of that annoying lioness._

Regal blinked in surprise at what could only have been a mention of herself, but pushed on.

_The only proper way to deal with them is to destroy them utterly. To do so I feel it is only proper that they be destroyed by ones like themselves. I have fashioned a spell that will allow me to do just that._

Now Regal understood just why Soulful was so upset, this dealt with his own origins…his own creation!

_While searching for the last ingredients needed for my spell I happened to chance upon a pregnant fox. She was precisely what I was looking for. Foxes are crafty and deceitful by nature; the perfect weapon to use against the trusting and foolish Care Bears. I captured the fox and brought it back to my castle. Once the spell was ready I extracted the young and—_

The book fell to the floor as Regal got up and broke into a run. She rushed into Soulful's kitchen and threw up in his sink, only narrowly managing to avoid being sick on his floor. She shuddered when she thought about what "extracted" meant. _I knew No Heart was evil, but this is…unspeakable._ Regal thought this is what Soulful was so upset about, but with a sudden foreboding realized that this alone wouldn't have provoked the reaction it did.

After washing the sink out and getting something to wash the taste of bile from her mouth, Regal returned to Soulful's living room where she retrieved the book from where she had discarded it. Flipping back to the page she was reading before she—stopped, Regal found her place again.

—_and I then had to set about creating an identity for the reworked fox. It would be of no use to me if it were incapable of outwitting those irritating Care Bears. So I took as a template for its mind and personality, the Care Bears most intelligent member—Bright Heart Raccoon._

Had Regal been drinking anything she would've performed a spit take at that.

_When the fools in the Kingdom of Caring were sleeping I transported myself to the home of their irritating inventor and using an older spell, managed to harvest his personality to use in my own creation. I considered killing the raccoon outright, but felt it best to let my new weapon take care of that. After all, his little toys have proved to be of no concern to me._

_Shows what you know._ Regal thought with savage relish as she thought of the many times the Care Bears had been saved by some clever invention or deduction of Bright Heart's.

_Having both the body and the personality needed, I gave my creation the half-life that it is. I twisted the personality of Bright Heart into its opposite, bringing out the negative traits all beings—even Care Bears—posses and transferred them to my new servant. He will be intelligent, his body will probably bear a close resemblance to the raccoon's and they will undoubtedly share some traits, though my creation will normally exhibit what to Bright Heart is a rare extreme._

_But my creation will for the most part be his equal…and opposite. Arrogant instead of humble, cold and stand-offish instead of warm and friendly, distrustful and suspicious instead of trusting…I have set out to create the ultimate abomination: an anti-Care Bear. Once my prototype has proven its worth, I will create more, enough to fashion by own anti-Care Bear Family that will spell the downfall of the Care Bears…and all love and caring on Earth._

The entry ended there. Regal numbly closed the book and let it drop to the floor. _I never thought…I never **imagined** that it could be this bad…I have to talk to him._ She strained her ears but didn't hear the sound of running water. In fact, she realized belatedly, she hadn't heard it for a while.

Her stomach knotted with worry, Regal headed for the bathroom, which meant walking through Soulful's bedroom. She almost didn't notice him standing off in the corner, still wet, like he had done only a half-hearted job at drying himself.

"Soulful?" Regal asked. "I—I don't know what to say." She admitted. Soulful, not looking at her, just walked over and sat on the edge of his bed. Regal sat down next to him. He sniffed once and blinked, as if trying to hold back tears. "What is it?" She asked.

"I…I'm, not real…" Soulful Heart said as he rubbed at his eyes.

"Oh Soulful…" _Not this old refrain._ She thought to herself. Soulful had come down on himself before, thinking that his origins somehow tainted him or made him less than the others…this time though, he had something to back up his claims.

"I'm a twisted imitation," He said as he buried his face in his paws. "I'm just a…just a _clone_…"

"No, you aren't." Regal argued. "We've had this talk before. You're _you_. Not Bright Heart or a clone or anyone else. Just you."

"But it's all _true_…I _am_ the way No Heart described. Like I'm an extreme anti-Bright Heart..."

She did have to admit to herself that Soulful Heart was very much made up of extremes. Usually he was a fairly reserved person but there were times he veered off into extreme anger, extreme depression, and even on occasion, extreme goofiness, though he reserved that for when he was with close friends or her own cubs. It was a side of him most of the others didn't know existed. But all those extremes in him did not make for a stable personality…

"I'm just—" Soulful choked.

"Soulful, weren't you paying attention? Yes, No Heart used Bright Heart as a template for you, but that doesn't mean you're a carbon copy of him. No matter how you came into being, you're unique."

"What about Bright Heart?" Soulful Heart asked. "What will he think? When he finds out I'm—" He couldn't continue.

"Why should that matter?" Regal asked, genuinely confused. Soulful sniffed.

"When No Heart told me what I was…a mimic of a Care Bear, it was the worst moment of my life. My—my whole sense of myself as an individual was shattered. It challenged my uniqueness as an individual, to learn that I was just a cheap imitation… how will Bright Heart feel when he finds out that he's been…._cloned_ without his knowledge? That I'm just an echo…a _shadow_ of him…"

"Soulful, Bright Heart wont see you as a threat to his uniqueness, he'll see you as he always had…as his best friend."

"But how do you _know_?" Soulful whimpered, scared to death at the thought of losing his best friend, a far cry from his usual self, the one that earned him the nickname of "Snarky Heart Fox."

Regal sighed. "I'm going to tell you something I haven't told anyone, not even Stellar. Understand?" Soulful nodded numbly surprised she would keep anything from her husband. "When I first got here." Regal said, "I was a little put off by how alike Brave Heart and I are." Soulful looked like he didn't see any similarity but kept silent, paying rapt attention. "I was afraid that either I'd always be in his shadow, or that he would come to resent me for stealing his thunder. In the end, I was wrong. Do you know why?" Soulful shook his head. "Because all he saw was a sister." Regal whispered. "The same way Bright Heart will see you as a friend…not a threat."

"But, I'm not real." He whispered as he looked down. Regal, a sudden frown crossing he face, cupped his muzzle in her paws and directed his gaze straight at her.

"Soulful Heart Fox," she said as if lecturing one of her own cubs, "That's nonsense and you should know better than that." As smart as Soulful was, when he got angry or upset his intelligence seemed to fail him and he'd just assume the worst…regardless of the facts.

Regal continued. "You're real Soulful. The fact that you came into being in a different way doesn't change that. Are my kids not real? Is Connie a copy of me? Is Hope? They may not have joined the family the way everybody else did, but they _did_ join and they _are_ real. And so are you."

"But I don't _feel_ real." Soulful Heart said squeezing his paws until they hurt, his knuckles turning white. Regal grabbed his arm and gave him a warning squeeze. He reluctantly unfurled his hands. Regal sighed.

"Why do you do that?" She asked softly. Soulful, shame faced, looked down. Regal looked sad, she'd seen him do that too often. "Why do you hurt yourself?"

Tears started trickling down his face. "It's the only time I feel real." He whimpered. "I can deal with that pain more than…the other kind."

"You're real. Never forget that. You don't deserve to be in pain, no matter what you may think. And there are ways to deal with the kind of pain you're feeling. We love you...don't hurt yourself anymore, okay? Because when you hurt yourself, you're hurting us too. Let us help."

"I…can't." Soulful Heart said with a sigh.

"Why not? Do you really think we'd hurt you if you trusted us too much?" Regal asked as she put her arms around him and began to gently rock him back and forth. Soulful shook his head. "Why do you refuse to let us help you?" Regal asked in what was more than half a plea.

"Because I don't want to be pitied." He said, wiping at his eyes. "I don't want to be weak. I want to be like…like _he_ never wanted me to be…"

"Soulful…letting others help you doesn't make you weak. That's No Heart's lame brain idea. Don't let it be yours."

"I just...I don't like being this way..." Soulful mumbled.

"I know you don't..." Regal said as she continued to rock him.

"I just wish…that I was like the rest of you, instead of an abomination..."

"You _are_ like the rest of us. In all the ways that matter, you are. Just because you weren't born naturally like the rest of us, doesn't make you any less a Cousin. You can use your Call, like the rest of us; you didn't learn at an early age, so it's taking you longer to master everything about it. And you have a heart, you actually _care_. That last, more than anything else, proves that you're _not_ an abomination. Is it that hard for you accept that people care about you? Will miss you if something happened to you? That people _love_ you?"

Soulful choked and started to cry in earnest. Regal rubbed his back soothingly. "It's okay, Soulful…"

She idly brushed some of his headfur back, and noticed just how warm his forehead was. He was definitely paying the price for twice running through the freezing rain without so much as an umbrella. _Probably a fever._ Regal sighed as she pulled her paw away from his head. She walked over to his dresser and pulled out a nightgown and walked back.

"Come on, put this on." She said. "You're coming down with something. You should get some rest. If you want," Regal offered, "We can talk more about this later, but right now you should go to bed." Soulful, exhausted in every conceivable way, nodded. He was so tired he actually needed Regal's help to get the nightgown over his head.

Crawling under his blanket, he rested his head against his pillow as Regal turned off the light. "Good night." She all but whispered. Soulful gave a weak nod and fell asleep in a matter of minutes. Regal shut the door behind her.

888888888888

There was a bright flash of lightning almost immediately followed by a loud crack of thunder. Several of the cubs let out a whimper that soon became a cry.

True Heart walked into the nursery when she heard the noise. She might have expected it; thunderstorms often frightened the cubs. True Heart shivered. It was a bit chilly too. "There, there." She said, going from crib to crib. "It's all right, just a little storm is all. Shhhh." Most of the cubs soon subsided and looked like they were about to go back to bed. But one let out a low whine when True Heart walked past. She sighed. "Come on Soulful Heart, it's bed time." The little fox unsteadily stood up and reached for True Heart, clearly wanting to be picked up.

"Oh all right." True Heart couldn't help but smile. "Come here." She lifted the fox cub—kit?—straight out of his crib. He certainly seemed happier as he nestled himself against True Heart's shoulder as she carried him around.

"I see the Red Menace needed a little comforting." Noble Heart chuckled as he walked in.

"Oh, you!" True Heart whispered, barely suppressing a giggle. "He's no menace, are you?" She cooed as she tickled him under his chin. Soulful laughed happily. "You see?" She asked smugly. Noble Heart smiled.

"I stand corrected." He shivered slightly. "It's kind of cold in here, isn't it?" True Heart nodded.

"I was thinking the same thing." She had noticed some of the cubs shivering a bit. "Maybe I should get them all another blanket."

"Maybe, but I think this would be better." Noble Heart reached into one of the cribs and pulled out Gentle Heart. He gently placed her in another crib, Bright Heart's. The two started cozying up for the extra warmth. Gentle Heart even gave Bright Heart her blanket. True Heart nodded.

"That is a good idea." She said as she followed suit, placing Loyal Heart in Proud Heart's crib. They continued on in that way until all the cubs had doubled up. They were all looking warm and happy. When True Heart commented as much, Noble Heart just yawned.

"Now, I think we should go to bed." He said, covering his mouth as he headed for the door, True Heart a few paces behind him. Noble Heart paused. "True Heart, I think you've forgot something." True Heart looked confused. Noble Heart just pointed at her shoulder. She followed his gaze and realized that she'd still been holding Soulful Heart the whole time. "I think you should go put him back." Noble Heart suggested.

"Where? Everyone else is already sharing a crib. They won't hold three and I don't want him sleeping alone." Soulful, already half-asleep, stirred slightly and rubbed his face against her shoulder. True Heart rubbed his back as she thought it over. "I guess he'll sleep with us tonight. He wont cause any trouble."

Noble Heart nodded once to signal his agreement and opened the door for her. The two of them headed back to their rooms, little Soulful still cozy in the crook of True Heart's arm. A little awkwardly, True Heart slid herself into bed using one arm and pulled the blanket up. Noble Heart got into bed on the other side, with Soulful nestled between them.

"Goodnight Noble Heart." True Heart said as she turned off the bedside lamp. "Goodnight Soulful." She added, giving him a goodnight kiss as he buried his face into her pillow. Noble Heart chuckled as he both bade them goodnight as well, giving Soulful a pat on the head as the three of them fell asleep.

888888888888

_That was a strange dream. _Soulful Heart thought. He wasn't up yet he was still in bed, his eyes still shut. It was so warm he didn't want to get up. Soulful was sure he was half-asleep because he kept dreaming he was hearing voices…

"Sleep well, True Heart?"

"Yes, but it seems our little guest slept even better, Noble Heart." A chuckle.

"I guess you're right. I'll get the others breakfast." The voices stopped and Soulful just continued sleeping. The dream came back he thought, as the voices returned.

"Come on Soulful." He felt a warm paw gently rub his back. It felt good. "I gave you plenty of extra sleepy time, but everyone's up and at breakfast already. You should be too." Soulful just buried his face in his pillow and thought: _Five more minutes…_The voice seemed pretty insistent though.

"Soulful Heart Fox, wake up now, or else." The voice sounded half-teasing. He ignored it. "All right." The voice sighed. "You asked for it." Soulful tried burying his face into the pillow more, but any attempt to stay asleep was foiled by being suddenly lifted off his bed and tickled mercilessly. "I warned you." True Heart laughed as she tickled the little fox, blowing her lips on his belly. Soulful squealed with laughter as he tried to pull away. True Heart grinned and stopped tickling him. "Finally awake are you?" She asked hugging him fiercely. "You're not a morning cub, are you? Are you?" She asked, rubbing her nose against his. Soulful giggled.

"Am I interrupting?" No Heart asked with a smile as he walked in. True Heart shook her head.

"Just getting a certain someone up." True Heart smiled back. "Could you take him to breakfast while I wash up? He probably could use a change too."

"After that tickling, I wouldn't be surprised." Noble Heart laughed. True Heart just stuck her tongue out at him. Imitating her, Soulful Heart did too. "Alright, alright." Noble Heart chuckled. "You win. Say bye-bye Soulful." Noble Heart said as he took him in his arms. He gently held one of Soulful Heart's arms and waved it at True Heart who smiled and then disappeared into the bathroom.

"You're a very lucky fox." Noble Heart told Soulful as he carried him down the hall. Soulful Heart peered up at him. "We almost didn't find you…you were hiding in a bush. True Heart had to coax you out." Noble Heart shook his head. "I don't know what it would've been like it if you weren't with us."

_This is getting too weird._ Soulful Heart thought as he tried to keep track of where—and what—he was. One moment he was staring up into the faces of Noble Heart or True Heart, the next he saw them carrying an infant version of him through the hallway. The changes of perspective came without warning. There were times he still thought like himself, other times his mind was child-like…_What is going on?_

Soulful tried interposing himself in front of Noble Heart, only to have Noble Heart walk through him…literally. Soulful Heart shivered. _If this is a dream, then I'm never going to let Bright Heart talk me into watching a five-hour _QuantumLeap_ marathon again._

_But what kind of dream is this…vivid?_

Soulful decided to walk around. See what else there was to see. The fact that he had no real desire to see himself changed played no small role in this decision. Soulful walked through the hall and soon found himself in the main hall, where meals were served. He shouldn't have been surprised when he found roughly thirty or so cubs sitting in high chairs eating baby food, but found that he was all the same.

_Weird._ Soulful thought again. It was odd seeing the rest of the family when they were cubs. They looked—and acted—in a way that was both similar and different to what he knew of them. When he saw a young Playful Heart Monkey scoop up some of—Soulful didn't know what the mush they were being fed was—and through it at Brave Heart, who started bawling when it splattered in his mane.

Soulful Heart snickered. He wandered around the table, looking at quasi-familiar faces. From what he could determine, they didn't seem to notice he was there. _Curiouser and curiouser…_

When Noble Heart and True Heart came in, Soulful watched them bring in himself in tow. Or rather, his younger self; or what would have been his younger self…he shook his head, trying to avoid being bogged down in semantics. True Heart lifted the young Soulful into his seat and tied a bib around his neck as she fed him what Soulful had already described as mush. Soulful watched himself being fed for a while before it finally got too weird and he went outside.

He stared up at the sky, wondering just what sort of dream was this and if it was worth it to pinch himself and wake up, or if he should just wait for something less clichéd to happen. Soulful Heart heard the doors behind him open and he stepped aside as a small horde of cubs came running out, Noble Heart and True Heart right behind them.

The cubs dashed this way and that and split up to play. Soulful watched with no little amusement as "he" walked over to a sandbox to help a younger Bright Heart and Gentle Heart make a sand castle…only to have Brave Heart step on it and make Gentle Heart cry. _Note to self: _Soulful thought to him self, _Next time the family goes to the beach, stomp on Brave Heart's sand castles._

Soulful sat back and watch them play…and run Noble Heart and True Heart ragged. He snickered. They looked exhausted, but seemed to be enjoying themselves. No matter how fun it was watching Loyal Heart chase Proud Heart or see Cozy Heart splash about in the fountain or see Grumpy sit under a tree and pout after losing a ball, Soulful felt his attention invariably draw back to…himself.

It was unnatural, at least for Soulful anyway. To him, childhood was something that had happened to other people. Not him. Seeing himself as a child was both bizarre and intriguing. _So this is what I would've looked like_, Soulful mused as he watched "himself" roll a ball back and forth with Bright Heart and looking absolutely delighted' laughing and carefree. Seeing that look on his own face was really uncanny. Unbidden, a strange voice interjected in his mind.

_If you had been normal…if you had been real…You could've _had_ this life._

Soulful felt his chest cave in. _Why'd I have to go and think _that Soulful thought mournfully, feeling as bad as he ever had. He fell to his knees as the surroundings dissolved around him. The Hall of Hearts, Care-a-Lot, the cubs, the younger version of him….all vanished.

All at once this seemingly pleasant dream became the worst nightmare he ever had. It was one thing to be intellectually aware of not having a childhood. To have it rubbed in his face, and see what his life could've been like…growing up with friends, loving parents…only to have it snatched away in front of his eyes—it was too cruel.

Soulful Heart felt hot…then cold…then started to fall.

There was a jarring impact all along his side, he tried to move but found his movements restricted. Soulful's eyes snapped open and it took a moment for him to realize what had happened. He was tangled up in his blanket and he'd just fallen out of bed.

_It was all a dream…_Soulful thought as he panted. _Just a dream…_He let out a choked sob before angrily wiping his eyes and untangling himself from his blanket. Soulful stood up quickly and promptly regretted it as he felt a flash of dizziness…his head felt like it was swimming. _Fever._ Soulful thought as he half-walked, half-stumbled out of his room, heading for the kitchen.

He felt his foot impact against something. Looking down he saw the architect of his current woes: No Heart's Journal; still lying on the floor in front of the couch where Regal had dropped it. Soulful felt a sudden, incontrollable burst of rage. _That **damn** book…_Soulful growled as he lurched over to the fireplace. A small fire was still burning there. Regal must have gotten it started before she'd left.

Soulful flung open the small doors that kept the fire in and threw the book into the flames, feeling a severe sense of satisfaction as he watched it begin to burn. _Good._ Soulful nodded once and then went over to the kitchen to get himself a drink of water before heading back to bed. He didn't check to see if it was light out or not. He just knew that he'd be staying in bed for a while.

Shortly after Soulful left the room, something strange happened in the fireplace. As the pages of the book burned, the fire changed from an honest red-orange blaze to a wicked looking black inferno. A voice, barely audible over the snapping flame and the sparks in sent out, gloated.

_**Free at last…Now it begins.**_

THE END


End file.
